* Word around Capitol Hill has it that Rand Paul, staunch supporter of all things vaguely reactionary, the predictable voice of insipid conservatism, has finally removed that creepy disguise he's been wearing for the past 20 years. Turns out his actual appearance - deranged homeless guy, small critters living in his scruffy beard, teetering on the edge of a symbolic highway overpass, screaming right wing conspiracy theories at the passing vehicles below, is much more appealing.
you know, goddam commies in cars; deep state doctors infecting people with their smooth-talking smartness; the nervy Bill Gates planning to implant anti-freedom chips into the flabby neck flesh of every single American; Barack Obama attempting to subvert the American way of life by subtly pointing out that the nation's current leader is an incompetent glob of bloated blood sausage. (not the
former president's actual words)
* And speaking of revolting neck sausage, what is up with Mitch McConnell? (I mean, aside from the fact that he has the credibility of a devious dung beetle) The guy's a millionaire many times over, yet seems obsessed with keeping at least two adult-size happy meals in his extensive jowl sacks at all times. Does Mitch ever swallow? When he looks in the mirror, does he blames Obama for what he sees?
Obama never prepared for the turkey jowl pandemic that is now sweeping through congress. The national anti-jowl stockpile was left as empty as Mother Hubbard's cupboard.
Sorry Mitch, but the more you lie and spew your Republican-style bullshit, the bigger that wagging wattle under your chin is going to get. Don't blame Obama, blame your total lack of integrity, and / or your refusal to gulp down that sticky pork pie you keep wedged in there, for reasons only a good old boy from Kentucky could possibly fathom.
* But returning to our main area of concern: Presidential Press Secretary, Kayleigh McEnany. You remember her, right? The young woman who, under all that make up, could actually be pretty, always wearing the giant cross around her neck, just so you don't forget that special relationship she's got going with Jesus. She used to appear regularly on CNN, being for a time the official disseminator of conservative gibberish, never squeamish about taking the most ridiculous positions, as long as everyone understood that she was the # 1 darling of the right wing nut bags.
Kayleigh certainly knew enough to keep her eyes on the camera at all times - even if it tended to make her look slightly insane - as if daring any dirty liberal out there watching to find even a single flaw in that impeccable face of hers.
I have an impeccable face; even a bird wouldn't peck at it, or a chicken, or even Mitch McConnell.
Now, it doesn't take a genius to see Trump for what he is. (any doubt as to what he is, please see last week's posting)
Basically, if you can tell the difference between daytime and nighttime, and know better than to stick your arm into a tank full of sharks, you're smart enough to comprehend the national disaster that is the Giant Rump otherwise known as Trump.
So how can we possibly explain Kayleigh? An intelligent, well-educated woman, with God on her side, no less, who must certainly be cognizant of the repulsive sociopath she's now working for.
The same Kayleigh, lest we forget, who recently announced that Trump, "is a great president, maybe the greatest president in the history of America."
Now let's face it, no one in the entire world, regardless of how maladjusted, misanthropic or unabashedly moronic they are, or how much money they're currently making off the Great Trump Political Con, believes the above statement to be true. Kayleigh, assuming she's not as pathologically delusional as Trump himself, certainly doesn't believe it. So why say it? Particularly after promising never to lie.
Okay, so in this case it's possible the not was silent. She actually promised never to not lie.
Like I said, no dummy. Still, something doesn't add up. I mean, 2 plus 2 ain't never gonna equal negative 4.
Which compels us to ask ... what exactly is Kayleigh's deal? What's her hidden agenda? Who is she trying to kid? What in her mind is the benefit of being a mendacious Trump huckster? What's it like in Kelly's mind? How scary is it to be her? What's her long game? Where's the upside? What terrible thing happened to her in childhood that made her this way? When did she start hating herself, seeking punishment wherever she could find it? What's she doing with all the money she's being paid to lie? Is she even real? What's she like in bed?
Whoa! Hold on there, pal. Delete that last question. Totally inappropriate. The sort of thing that gets you labelled a sexual predator or, at the very least, qualifies you to be president.
Make sure to join us next time for Part 2, when a panel of experts will weigh in on the mysterious
Kayleigh Phenomenon.
