Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Snippets From The Unreality Zone

Oh Dear Lord!  It's once again presidential politics time in the land of the free and the home of the insane.

America, man. Can't live with it, can't just shoot it.  Well, suppose we could. It's not like we don't have the guns for it, or the God-given right to shoot anything that moves, except people, of course, because then we would have a mental illness. I know I do.

* Sarah Palin was given a weekend pass from wherever she's usually confined, turned up next to Donald Trump, and was as deliciously deranged and incoherent as we remember her. Another smart move by Trump, though, who, compared to Palin, appeared almost normal (heavy emphasis on almost). The idiots, of course, loved having Sarah back, and why wouldn't they? It's not every day they get to listen to someone who's actually dumber than themselves. Ted Cruz (a.k.a. hybrid human-lizard creature), on the other hand, took it hard. He apparently hissed, slithered into a corner and began threatening to give Palin a good spanking.

The big question, how did Trump manage to pull this off?  Insider sources say it was A million bucks donated to the Palin initiative to Wipe Out All Of Alaska's Remaining Wildlife,  and an additional hundred thousand to help the Palin kids set up their own home Meth lab. Because, hey, it's just too dang cold outside to leave the house every time we feel like getting high. 

* An eye-witness observer reports that on New Year's day a group of approximately fifty people in Miami stood out on the street firing their guns into the air.  At first assumed to be a Republican caucus in action, it later turned out to be just a group of mental deviants who do not comprehend the principle of gravity.

Hey, man, we probably fired five thousand rounds and only killed two innocent bystanders. Those are odds I can live with.

Marco Rubio, former Disneyworld Dumbo, defended the rabble-rousers by conflating gravity with climate change, which we already know is nothing more than left-wing propaganda.

It's just one more example of the thinking elite trying to impose restrictions upon us. First it was climate change, then Affordable Healthcare, now it's gravity. Tomorrow they'll be telling us we need to think for ourselves.

Note:  A Trump spokesperson appeared on CNN to clarify the issue.  "Gravity is a real thing," she said,  "it just does not apply to Donald Trump."

A truly ridiculous claim to make, even for a Trump groupie, until one realizes that the Great Trump is, in fact, a hologram.

Correction:  A hologram who knows a few Hispanic people, loves the Bible and can make America (correction, white America) great again.

And another thing, people, as a hologram, he can never die!

* As one Republican operative put it:  Yes sir, our idiot base is riled up and ready.  Assuming they don't shoot themselves first, and can manage to find the voting venues, we should have an extremely large turn out.

*Talk about anticlimax:  And then we're forced to watch the Democratic town hall prior to the Iowa caucus. I mean, come on!  All three Democratic candidates are intelligent, articulate and have rational ideas for the future. Unlike their Republican counterparts, they do not appear as either phony suck-ups or  blatant weasel-talkers. No pandering to the God-slurping dumbbells. They think about things, for Christ's sake!  What the hell kind of fun is that? 

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